Cactus Recall Notice


RECALL NOTICE

We have recently discovered a slight error on our part which may pose a concern for you...

...It appears that as our relationship with him worsened he began selectively harvesting infected cacti. Thus we felt it was our duty to warn you of the dangers which may now be associated with your cactus.

...you should watch for telltale warning signs...

...
Take care and good luck!! We’ll be praying for you.



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Congrats on the New Car, Just Don't Drive It.



Dear New Car Customer:

Congratulations on your recent new car purchase!

...The steering defects are limited in practical impact and will only affect steering when making right turns. Thus, to safely make a right turn you may make three lefts, or do a U-turn in reverse while turning left. Simply avoid turning the steering wheel to the right and you should not notice any steering problems...



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