Happy Housewarming. Most of your belongings should arrive in Alaska soon.



RE: NOTICE OF DELAYED PROPERTY SHIPMENT

This notice is to confirm the information your moving company should have provided you within the last 24 hours.

...As a result, your belongings were shipped to Mobile, Alabama.

...They managed to reload the rest of your belongings before nightfall, except for two lamps and a chair with which Mrs. Smalls would not part. In the end, reason prevailed, and the driver managed to exchange your lamps and chair for a genuine coconut clock from the Big Island and a very nice “Elvis is King” black light poster framed in authentic faux-ivory.

...Finally, the California State Police have an APB out on your dresser, and we are confident you will have it returned to you soon with only a small fine.

Happy Housewarming!




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