It has come to our attention that you are having yet another birthday. Congratulations!!! It is certainly inspiring to see someone of your great age still breathing. In observance of this momentous occasion, your still breathing and all, we would like to offer you a distinguished seat in Jonsin’s Hall of Records.

Many people are familiar with Guinness Book of World Records. Yet, our lesser known Hall of Records has also enjoyed much distinction over the years. In fact, Jonsin’s Hall of Records was around when King George IV defeated the Huns and ran off the Moonies. Since that time we have been recording momentous occasions for posterity and our pocketbooks.

Jonsin logged the founding of our great country when he came across the Pacific with the Santa Maria, the Nina, and the Pinto. Jonsin himself recorded John Jefferson’s signing of our Declaration of Independence on the carrier Nimitz. Jonsin recorded Custard’s last words at the O.K. Corral. Jonsin was there to preserve Louie Armstrong’s first steps on the moon. Jonsin recorded the crossing of the Titanic from the Captain’s stateroom and helped Henry Ford build the first Volkswagen. Jonsin even helped John Lennon pen the hit song
Jumpin’ Jack Flash while following the fab five across the world.

And now Jonsin wants to record your birthday for posterity!

Just think of the fame and notoriety you’ll get as a distinguished member of Jonsin’s Hall of Records. And all just because you’re so old!

Your picture will be proudly displayed in this year’s edition of Jonsin’s Book of Records and a velvet black light poster of YOU will be on display at Jonsin’s Hall of Records in Hoboken, Ohio. You can bring your great grandchildren and watch as the rotating lights highlight all the wrinkles on your nearly neon face.

But, the fun and fame doesn’t stop there! You can purchase multiple copies of the Book of Records ($99.95 each) to send to all your relatives. We’ll even send you a free plastic medallion honoring YOU to hang on your tombstone.

Don’t worry about ordering now. We’ll print the book anyway and watch the obituaries. When we see that your name is listed, we’ll send your relatives five copies each. You don’t have to pay anything now, because we’ll bill all of your relatives at twice the rate! Just another caring service of Jonsin’s Hall of Records.

Have a Happy Birthday!


Executive Vice President, Sales